Dogs, Poopoo peepee and Kids: Bad boy - FML

Bad boy

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my 2 year-old son decided to pee on the dog for the second day in a row. I'm afraid this will turn into a routine thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 268

You deserved it 5 298

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Same thing different taste

Slippery when wet

By blewidstepr - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, I realized that my 3 year-old son, who is being potty trained, has better aim standing up to pee than his 30 year-old father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 881

You deserved it 6 520

Bad boy

By Shiva - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - France - Niort

Today, I cleaned my apartment from top to bottom. Once I was done, I looked over at my puppy, who then woke up, stretched, got out of his basket and started to pee. I shouted, "No!" Scared, he then ran all over the place, still peeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 780

You deserved it 9 643

Self report

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was with my 3 year-old son in the doctor's office. During the exam, he informed the doctor that he doesn't sleep in mommy's bed anymore because mommy sleeps in her underwear and farts all night long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 695

You deserved it 8 757

Naughty girl

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I took the dog for a 45 minute walk/jog. She sniffed everything on the ground like she always does. She marked her territory twice, then we finally got home. As soon as I took her off the leash inside, she ran to the kitchen and took a dump right on the kitchen mat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 054

You deserved it 3 804

By justsomesummer - 26/01/2016 18:09 - United States - Beaverton

Today, I got a new babysitting job. Every time the little girl goes to the bathroom, she screams and cries until I wipe her. She's 7 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 903

You deserved it 1 664

Instant cure

By Username - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff

Today, I had been sick all day, so to cheer me up my dad drove me to get ice cream. On our way back, we hit a puppy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 572

You deserved it 4 942

Creepy

By Justinthebox - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, my 5-year-old son made a drawing of our living room, with the addition of an apparition, and the text, "I can see you. Daddy doesn't see you. Who are you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 559

You deserved it 408

Thanks for the info

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, my mother told my boyfriend a cute story about me when I was little. The one where my cousin and I were caught pooping in a urinal in the church basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 843

You deserved it 611

Scammed

By mohit - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I found out that my neighbor's son is supposed to be giving me gas money for driving him to school each morning. He's using it to buy drugs instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 123

You deserved it 443

Quick learner

By BubbaCat - 24/04/2023 10:00

Today, I've been babysitting a 4 month-old for two days. This has made a great impression on my cat, because now I can't sit down without him jumping up and licking my face until I pat his butt and rock him like the baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 626

You deserved it 194

Next

Top comments

BoredomKillsinc 0

Friday 7 January 2011 9:09

i hope the dog learns to defend itself and bite off the kids little weiner...

omgshaylaaa 0

Friday 7 January 2011 9:08

awe it's your job to train your kid haha poor dog :(

Comments

RayRay85 0

Friday 7 January 2011 16:26

F the dog

JenL_fml 7

Friday 7 January 2011 16:57

Doesn't anyone believe in discipline anymore? v.v A couple of licks would straighten him out. Send him to my house. >:)

swimmerstud 7

Friday 7 January 2011 17:12

a spank would make the kid not do it again because he doesn't want to get spanked again. when I was a kid I almost never got spanked. my parents used a stern voice to say no don't do that again. and when I did get a spanking I knew not to do it again.

stormborn 0

Friday 7 January 2011 17:20

tell the kid next time he does it you'll pee on him see if he likes being peed on

Zmeilerr 22

Friday 7 January 2011 17:29

At least she's not sticking pencils up your cats butt.

meteor_stream 9

Friday 7 January 2011 17:32

19, when will the likes of you understand that the "you don't have a child" argument is outdated as hell? You know, sometimes you don't have to do things to know how they work. A slap on the butt is always, always appropriate when a child does something wrong. It takes a minute and has an awesome "no can do" effect on the kid.

ScuseMePrincess 2

Friday 7 January 2011 18:25

Watch your kid better and invest in a leather belt... Or wooden spoon.

pavloviandoggy 4

Friday 7 January 2011 19:21

The dog probably peed on him first.

Quagmire69 5

Friday 7 January 2011 19:40

Watersports just isn't for adults anymore!

lynbrook 1

Friday 7 January 2011 21:01

Lock one of them in the bathroom

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 2 223

You deserved it 477

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I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 145

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I agree, your life sucks 2 395

You deserved it 235

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I agree, your life sucks 706

You deserved it 158

Today, I found out that the student tutor my son advised me to hire was my son's girlfriend. I have been paying her $20 an hour for the last 3 weeks to make out with my son in his room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 306

You deserved it 16 769

Today, in the middle of blizzard, I hopped out of my car to rescue a small white cat that darted across the street in front of me. After running in the snow to find it, I realized what I'd seen wasn't a cat at all. It was a plastic bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 589

You deserved it 1 460