Animals, Dogs and Work: Bad boy - FML

Bad boy

By MikeIsMaster - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - South Africa

Today, I invited my boss for supper as we get on pretty well. Everything was going well, until my German Shepherd bit him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 576

You deserved it 5 350

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Same thing different taste

Snappy

By DamnDogs - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, at work as a groomer's assistant, my boss said something that I didn't catch as I went to take a leash off a dog. I looked at my boss and said, "What?" To which she replied, "Be careful, he bites." I now have a two-inch gash on my finger from a 6lb fluffy Maltese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 734

You deserved it 5 726

Running late

By SMV - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - France

Today, my company was having a huge party so I went to work dressed in my best outfit. During lunch break, my boss said to me, "You really missed out on something yesterday, it was great fun!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 243

You deserved it 6 076

By uninvited - 04/02/2016 15:16 - United States - Boston

Today, my parents called me to ask if I could drop my dog off to them on Sunday. They're having a Superbowl party and want to show her off to their guests. My dog is invited, but I'm not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 253

You deserved it 1 747

Team building

By Incompetent - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Pakistan - Lahore

Today, my boss admitted that he seriously regrets hiring me, but can't really do anything about it because that would make the senior management question his judgment, making him look bad. So he's just 'putting up' with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 205

You deserved it 1 383

Taking the piss

By Mug - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, my boss made me work a longer shift than usual. Not because he needed me in, but just so I'd finish at the same time as his brat of a son, and give him a lift home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 238

You deserved it 2 221

Instant cure

By Username - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff

Today, I had been sick all day, so to cheer me up my dad drove me to get ice cream. On our way back, we hit a puppy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 572

You deserved it 4 942

Early warning

By Hreyes - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I overheard my boss stressing out over finding a replacement for me. I didn't know I was leaving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 008

You deserved it 2 215

By bigscarypuppy - 22/08/2009 05:39 - United States

Today, my sister went into early labor. Instead of telling me, my mom turned to my dog and said, "Guess what? You're going to be an uncle!" Our dog ranks higher than me in our family's metaphorical food chain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 595

You deserved it 3 246

Stoner in disguise

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Rowlett

Today, I found out that mishearing my boss and laughing at what I thought he said can make him think I'm high and nearly force me to submit to a drug test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 429

You deserved it 2 920

By ISwearImNotOCD - 05/04/2017 08:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I found out that the chefs at my work can't spell for shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 153

You deserved it 371

Next

Top comments

RJB 0

Tuesday 16 February 2010 16:07

I bet the dog read your mind about what you wanted to do to him..dont lie...

yessirfosho 0

Tuesday 16 February 2010 19:38

The dog or the boss?

Comments

daneeyoll 0

Wednesday 17 February 2010 5:22

eeeeeeeenglish

monnanon 13

Wednesday 17 February 2010 11:02

well said, my bf's family have always had german sheperds and they have never been bitten neither has the dog bitten any other person or threatened another dog. They even get on well with the cats lol

Talory 2

Thursday 18 February 2010 5:44

Train. Your. Dog. Or put it into another room, or crate it, while company is there. I sincerely doubt that your dog has previously shown no aggresssion and arbitrarily decided that the one person that he's going to bite in his life will be your boss.

trackrunner00008 0

Thursday 18 February 2010 7:53

lol supper. gay

lorchan 0

Friday 19 February 2010 1:44

My German Shepard once bit the pool boy. The pool boy always charges us for stuff he doesn't do (adjusting chemicals, vacuming, etc.). Dogs are great judges of character. And if it is an agressive dog, it's usually because of the owner, you guys know that, right?

darlene87 0

Friday 19 February 2010 12:15

somebody wanted a promotion... too bad your dog ruined it

9010649 3

Friday 19 February 2010 19:00

German shepards are highly protective of their masters and I'd not teamed properly they will defend by biting...

9010649 3

Friday 19 February 2010 19:02

"if not trained properly" damn auto correct

zoe768532 1

Sunday 1 January 2012 12:38

This is the worst FML ever.

milady666 2

Sunday 20 May 2012 11:37

Why is there ways a bunch of dog experts commenting on this stuff? Shut the **** up.

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, I realized that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air freshener in my girlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my girlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 571

You deserved it 8 693

Today, I realized that I'm head over heels in love with my coworker. She's funny, caring, sweet, and the best person I've ever met. We're also both married. I dream about her every night, and the stress of not being able to tell her has overtaken my PTSD, making it impossible to sleep and barely function. Fuck Love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 517

The Top

Today, I tried to open the research paper I've been working on for the past month, only to discover that the entire file is permanently lost and can't be recovered. This is not the first time this has happened to this paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 052

You deserved it 15 943

Today, the coworker I have been hitting it off with rejected me. Apparently she has a crush on another male employee. An employee who is married and somehow has three other girls in our store actually fighting over him (I've heard arguments). She thinks she has a chance? FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 189

Today, my mom got so desperate to find me a woman, she went to see a medium. I don't have the guts to tell her I'm gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 703

You deserved it 3 063

Today, while at a restaurant, my date shat himself. He spent the entire meal pretending nothing had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 690

You deserved it 1 018

Today, I was at the airport getting ready to go to Hawaii. The guy at the counter said my flight was delayed. It turns out that the flight that was delayed was a flight going to Miami. My flight left at the regular time, and my luggage was on it, because I checked in the night before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 478

You deserved it 3 733

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 689

You deserved it 18 554