Spiders, Scary and Animals: SPIDERS!

SPIDERS!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while cleaning out my garage, I found a pregnant spider. I couldn't step on the spider without releasing the baby spiders, so I went inside to get a glass jar to trap it. While trying to relocate the spider, I accidentally stepped on it. I now have a bunch of baby spiders roaming around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 996

You deserved it 7 349

Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
Stories of extraordinary fathers, sometimes awkward but always hilarious. A family read! More…

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Same thing different taste

Creeped out

By NotASpiderMan - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Seattle

Today, as I was changing my sheets, I found a huge spider under my pillow. My 10 year-old sister had to get rid of it for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 955

You deserved it 6 201

Demon child

By PeanutlyDisabled - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 777

You deserved it 3 384

Snek

By snakeboy - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, for the first time in about 3 years, I decided to clean my car. It was going really well until I looked down at what I was about to pick up. On the back seat floor lay a dead snake, which at one point, for God knows how long, was living in my car while I unknowingly drove it around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 649

You deserved it 48 189

Neil Diamond was wrong

By LucyLollipop - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I had my first glass of red wine after months of pregnancy and giving birth. Just as I sat down and started to relax, I spilled it all over myself and my in-law’s couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 257

You deserved it 929

Bad boy

By Shiva - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - France - Niort

Today, I cleaned my apartment from top to bottom. Once I was done, I looked over at my puppy, who then woke up, stretched, got out of his basket and started to pee. I shouted, "No!" Scared, he then ran all over the place, still peeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 780

You deserved it 9 643

Caught off guard

By dooommage - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I was teasing my cat with a piece of string when suddenly my phone rang. I answered it with one hand and put the string down with the other onto my lap. The beast seized the opportunity to spring, claws out, onto my privates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 378

You deserved it 15 346

Brain fog

By FlyingCoffeeMonster - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Oreland

Today, I was having my morning coffee while getting ready for work. I grabbed clothes off the floor to throw in the hamper. I accidentally threw my full coffee instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 057

You deserved it 3 200

Customized

By gss - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I pulled one of my favorite hoodies out of my closet, and immediately noticed several large stains on it. Apparently, my dad had managed to open a hole in the roof and couldn't be bothered to patch it, so a squirrel got in and used my closet as a litter box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 507

You deserved it 2 275

Hang in there

By ouch - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Wilmington

Today, I was on the toilet when my cat came in and jumped up on the sink. Apparently my lap looked like a comfier seat, so she jumped onto it. She misjudged the distance, but luckily caught herself by sliding to a stop, with her claws in my bare thighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 799

You deserved it 4 967

New nickname just dropped

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Midland

Today, I was talking with a very attractive coworker outside when a moth flew into my ear. I started screaming and hitting my ear because it was stuck and alive in my ear. I spent the rest of the day at the ER. I'm forever known as The Moth Lady. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 775

You deserved it 1 043

bethan1 4

Sunday 31 October 2010 12:42

For some reason I read this as "I found a pregnant sister" it was way cooler that way.

Lounia_fml 8

Sunday 31 October 2010 15:05

At 18 :P

Comments

iloveyoubastard 0

Thursday 22 December 2011 16:55

Mm spiders give me panic attacks. Have fun with your family. (:

EdenLis 14

Monday 16 January 2012 4:01

If you step on a pregnant spider wouldn't you squish the babies as well..?

ravenjahns 4

Tuesday 24 January 2012 3:59

if you stepped on the spider...wouldn't that crush it's stomach, therefore crushing the baby spiders?

whitneylee16 4

Saturday 28 January 2012 14:22

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

mimerino 9

Monday 21 May 2012 18:59

Ever read charlottes web, idiot? Spiders don't get preggers, they lay eggs.

sacmaster 11

Tuesday 12 June 2012 5:50

Spiders lay eggs OP...smh

sacmaster 11

Tuesday 12 June 2012 5:50

Spiders lay eggs OP...smh

1R1X0X0 10

Monday 17 September 2012 12:14

Too bad that spiders aren't mammals. So somewhere in your story you told us a lie.

yacko32 1

Tuesday 27 November 2012 18:23

An I the only person who realizes that spiders don't get "pregnant?" They lay eggs in an egg sac in a remote spot away from the web the keep them protected