Poopoo peepee and Health: Today, after suffering from constipation for three days, I finally...

By Poopie - 29/01/2011 06:06 - Canada

Today, after suffering from constipation for three days, I finally took a dump. Just as things reached the point of no return, my land line and doorbell all rang. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 215

You deserved it 3 200

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 14/05/2012 03:14 - United States

Today, after 4 days of constipation, I finally pooped. Sadly, I was not on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 786

You deserved it 3 069

By ugh - 03/09/2013 23:53 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 763

You deserved it 40 908

By missbutthole - 04/06/2011 13:07 - United States

Today, after being chronically constipated for the better part of a week, I finally have the urge to poop. Too bad I'm 30 minutes early to work and locked out of the building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 702

You deserved it 3 884

You need more fiber

By Anonymous - 30/04/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I finally got over having constipation for two days straight. It came in the form of a normal-sized, rock-hard turd that made me scream "Ow!" when it came out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 96

By phonesnshit - 29/05/2010 04:04 - Canada

Today, I was expecting a very important work call. Today was also the day I got insuppressible diarrhea. As I was running to the washroom, the phone rang. I didn't make it to the washroom or the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 198

You deserved it 3 487

By Anonymous - 17/11/2009 20:05 - United States

Today, I was at home with slight constipation, so I took two laxatives. That's when my boyfriend called me, saying his parents are in town and want to have dinner tonight, this being the first time I've met them. I've already been on the toilet five times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 555

You deserved it 5 931

By Me - 20/06/2011 16:14 - United States

Today, I finally went to the bathroom after being constipated for two days. The good news? I lost two pounds. The bad news? The toilet won't flush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 502

You deserved it 5 623

By Anonymous - 01/06/2016 11:05 - Canada - Saint-laurent

Today, I've been chronically constipated so long that I was actually grateful for the sudden blast of diarrhea that ruined my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 505

You deserved it 857

Whoops

By chubbs - 28/05/2014 21:07 - United States - Vacaville

Today, after waiting 2 hours for my landlord to leave so I could take a shit in peace, I sat down on the toilet. The doorbell immediately rang. It was my landlord, who wanted to let me know that he had just backed into my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 232

You deserved it 3 775

Timing

By iliterallypoopedmyself - 19/01/2012 01:54 - Australia

Today, I anxiously waited 8 hours for an important phone call. The phone rang while I was sitting on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 759

You deserved it 3 876

alkaid 14

Saturday 29 January 2011 12:22

" the point of no return" ? that sounds like an epic shit you got there

TahoeFMler 22

Saturday 29 January 2011 12:20

Um duh, don't answer them and do your business!

Comments

CreateZ 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 13:09

That rhymed :O

MrRawwr84 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 13:16

i dont get this????

smushies_fml 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 13:27

I guess no turning back!

sallen0046 4

Saturday 29 January 2011 13:27

Seriously? You weren't plummeting off a cliff, you were taking a crap. This is not in any way a life-******* situation. You simply return the call when you're out of the bathroom. The person at the door will either come back, or actually be polite and call to see if you want them to show up on your doorstep again.

Flamehog9 0

Sunday 30 January 2011 16:25

FERST AMG

dre_bro11 12

Saturday 29 January 2011 13:32

Why the **** did you put a question mark at the end? It's not even a question.

toelie 26

Saturday 29 January 2011 13:41

If you are so desperate not to miss any calls/visits, next time put a note on your door: "Taking much-needed dump, please call again later" and record the same on your answering machine.

stingray626 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 13:46

damn crybabys these daysoh u couldnt answer the door nd phone so fml lol get over it not a big deal at all

aspnet_rules 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 13:55

This is an FML? **** this, post more life-******* stories than this on here, come on.

Sirin_fml 46

Sunday 30 January 2011 6:06

Thanks for the suggestion, aspnet_rules. We'll take it under advisement at the next Fight Club meeting or something.

DropTheDaggerxx 31

Monday 31 January 2011 7:37

Oh my god, I love you just for the Fight Club thing.

Steve95401 49

Saturday 29 January 2011 13:57

Just because a doorbell or telephone rings doesn't mean that you have run to answer it. That's what an answering machine is for and the person at the door was probably trying to sell something.