Kids: Today, I gave my son a bollocking for losing a very important... - FML

By Daddy - 10/11/2008 12:06 - France

Today, I gave my son a bollocking for losing a very important paper that I needed for work. I've just found it in my right pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 470

You deserved it 59 685

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Same thing different taste

Prank or brain melt?

By Anonymous - 29/05/2023 22:00 - Canada - Woodstock

Today, my son texted me that he couldn't find his phone, so I went to go help him look for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 226

You deserved it 912

By copycat - 19/03/2015 05:05 - United States - Norco

Today, I turned in my homework. Too bad I accidentally handed in the printed answer sheet I found online to copy from. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 663

You deserved it 50 593

By oh, shit...... - 02/02/2016 20:27 - Denmark - Bagsv?rd

Today, I was at the gym. At the end of my workout, I realised I lost the bundle of keys I had in my pocket that contained the key to my locker with all my stuff. I panic and start looking for them. After an hour of desperate searching, I find them thrown in the bottom of the public toilet. Thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 412

You deserved it 1 988

By Gottalovepeople - 31/12/2017 01:34

Today, I found out that my ten-page paper, which has taken me two months to construct perfectly and is worth 30% of my grade, was on the wrong book. It’s due tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 187

You deserved it 2 318

Keynote

By Andrew - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, there was a meeting at work, during which I had to give a presentation to my boss and other attendants. The first subject I had to tackle was how my 5 year-old son got to my briefcase and replaced its contents with some crayons and a fluffy teddy bear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 469

You deserved it 5 577

Little shit

By emmalou - 29/08/2022 06:00

Today, my son tried extort me into turning the WiFi back on by hiding my purse. He was mad because he'd lost access for being disrespectful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 847

You deserved it 200

By Anonymous - 22/12/2013 06:17 - United States - Roseville

Today, I was helping my mom look for some money she'd misplaced. At my wit's end, I flipped through her diary, in case she'd hidden it between the pages as she has before. Didn't find the money, but I did find out she might well be cheating on my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 395

You deserved it 8 302

ETA? No idea!

By Anonymous - 31/03/2023 02:00

Today, I was running late for an important meeting and couldn't find my car keys. After searching around for way too long, I finally realised where they were - in the pocket of the pants I'd worn the day before, which were now spinning around in the now-unstoppable, two-hour washing machine cycle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 639

You deserved it 393

Market crash

By Anonymous - 17/09/2019 20:00 - New Zealand - Wellington

Today, my son took some of my underwear to school. What's worse is he sold it to his classmate for $10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 768

You deserved it 161

Losing my mind

By rawr - 30/10/2019 18:00

Today, I managed to lose a 3XL fleece jacket in my house, which had my wallet and car keys in it. I had the pleasure of explaining this to my boss when I had to call in, after everyone I called did not respond. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 409

You deserved it 354

Next

Top comments

xMooMoox 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 21:41

Son you lost my paper go canoe in that lake!!! It means an argument you guys.

F14Shado 0

Friday 27 March 2009 5:05

I think that means beating..

Comments

4440123 0

Thursday 13 August 2009 5:27

nfwgdnjvdjcvgwfdjgsjrusntodbsgacafwfwtgrurgdmcncsfqsfwjrhhejrvvrqeitlrvcehrneuggrktjenylrhvwjfmrhs yo

WhyworldWhy 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 0:45

overreacting jerk

thatonedude007 0

Monday 19 October 2009 17:57

all of you who don't know what a row is... expand your vocabulary. also, I hope that you're a decent enough person to apologize to your kid who did absolutely NOTHING wrong!

informed 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 4:32

thanks for telling me what it is smarty mcfarty(#23) it means to upbraid severely (scold/yell)

wow_badfml 0

Saturday 20 March 2010 23:26

lol #10 ha. he jacks off. And OP i'm sorry you beat your child for no reason. : (

FMLFORTHEWIN 0

Sunday 28 March 2010 5:27

awww...poor kid! u shud be ashamed of urself! :(

Belieber_fml 0

Saturday 3 April 2010 2:56

the poor kid even if it was his fault that was still really cruel and i bet he was telling u that it wasn't his fault u should really listen to your son

Really0_o 0

Thursday 22 April 2010 15:30

my dad beat my ass when I was a kid for not flushing, and then lying about it. Turned out hes the one that left the monster in the pot! @$$hole, make sure you know your kids did it before assuming. assume = ASS out of U and ME. YDI

christa953 12

Saturday 29 May 2010 22:34

ok a row means to scold. look it p before assuming what it means because it's not as bad as it sounds

christa953 12

Saturday 29 May 2010 22:36

why is everyone saying it's cruel to scold your kid?

Lizbo415 0

Thursday 22 July 2010 3:51

this persons an assho*e

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The Top

Today, I had an argument with my husband. I’m a stay at home mom with a six, three, and one year-old. He insisted that we homeschool, so I literally never get a break. When I told him I need people to talk to, he replied, "Why? You talk to the kids all day!” God forbid I should interact with other adults. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 296

You deserved it 177

Today, working at a fast food restaurant, I was cleaning dishes in the back. I started to sing to myself. During the chorus I heard the echo of my voice in my ear. My boss had pushed the talk button on my headset so every staff member and everyone in the lobby could hear me over the intercom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 777

You deserved it 9 447

The Top

Today, my mom called to bestow upon me warm holiday pearls of wisdom: "I hope you aren't giving everyone your natural handmade eco-shit again. Gifts should be returnable. And have a price." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 803

You deserved it 9 045

Today, I found out my boyfriend of 7 years has been cheating on me with my friend's 18-year-old sister, took her on the vacation we planned, and will be starting with my company next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 658

You deserved it 224

Today, I finally let my parents meet a boyfriend of mine for the first time ever. My dad mentioned how he was happy to finally meet him, because for the past 4 years he'd thought I was gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 573

You deserved it 192

Today, I sneezed without knowing I had a nosebleed. Despite turning my head, a fine blood spray shot out all over my fiancée’s white dress as we were standing at the altar. She refused to say “I do” because she was so mad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 068

You deserved it 558

Today, my boyfriend was telling me a story about his ex-wife. Just normal day-to-day stuff. He then got mad at me because I wasn’t mad that he was talking about his ex. I told him that I understood he had a life before me, and it wasn’t a big deal. Apparently, he wants a jealous immature brat. Sorry? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 343

You deserved it 113

Today, I received an angry phone call from a friend whose birthday party I missed last night. Yesterday, I gave birth to my son. She claims that I ruined her party and demands I still bring her a birthday gift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 060

You deserved it 587