Love: Today, I jokingly asked my boyfriend of one year, "Why is someone...

By sprocket - 28/02/2009 18:55 - Hong Kong

Today, I jokingly asked my boyfriend of one year, "Why is someone as smart, funny and as handsome as you with someone like me?" He replied, "Opposites attract." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 084

You deserved it 28 957

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Same thing different taste

Backhanded insult?

By Mandy - 07/06/2010 19:27 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about our past relationships. He told me that he broke up with his last girlfriend because she was smart and he suited someone who was quite stupid. He then went on to say that I was perfect for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 555

You deserved it 6 735

So romantic

By Anonymous - 24/12/2012 05:33 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed and I asked him why he was with me. His answer was, "Well, the last girl I dated was really smart and she always made me feel dumb, so I decided to switch things up a bit. You make me feel like a genius, babe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 588

You deserved it 8 047

Types

By aphre - 18/03/2009 12:35 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend of over a year and I were discussing how neither of us is the other's usual "type". I explained that I usually go for insular asshole types and then asked him what made me different from his usual choices. He said "Oh, well, I usually go for the attractive ones." FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 864

You deserved it 11 899

Nice dude

By ThroatSlasher - 17/08/2015 19:20 - United Kingdom - Grimsby

Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He's smart, attractive, and has a steady job. Imagine my surprise when he accepted. Then imagine my surprise when he followed up with, "Hah, just kidding. You're fucking BORING!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 989

You deserved it 2 456

By NotCuteEnough - 24/08/2009 21:27 - United States

Today, I was flirting with this guy that had been forced to be my lab partner for class. He was really funny and attractive, too. In the middle of our conversation he said "You're so cute! You remind me of my boyfriend!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 585

You deserved it 7 742

By ... - 16/06/2013 20:57 - South Africa - Port Elizabeth

Today, my boyfriend and I talked about our past relationships. He said he broke up with his last girlfriend because she was "too smart" for him, and that he felt better being with someone who "doesn't have too many lights on upstairs, if you know what I mean." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 388

You deserved it 6 191

By Rejected. - 22/11/2009 17:49 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend of one year when an attractive girl walks over. She asks him, "Is this your girlfriend?" He replied "That depends... are you single?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 380

You deserved it 3 922

By Fluory - 07/12/2009 14:43 - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me why I chose to date him. After going on for five minutes about how unique and funny he is, I ask him the same question. His reply? "You were the first person to ask me out." He then rolled over and fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 164

You deserved it 3 965

Standards

By Lily - 23/03/2009 01:10 - United States

Today, my boyfriend dumped me because he said he needed to be with someone smart so that he could impress his parents. I just got accepted into medical school. When I pointed that out to him, he added that he needed to be with someone attractive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 744

You deserved it 4 676

Get it on, bang a gong

By Anonymous - 12/09/2019 15:00 - Bulgaria - Sofia

Today, I'm dating the perfect guy. He's smart, considerate, charming, funny, good looking and we have a ton of interests in common. He also can't get it up. At all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 739

You deserved it 237

billykafka 0

Saturday 28 February 2009 23:10

If you took his response seriously you're ****** up.

alwaysalady 0

Saturday 28 February 2009 23:57

He was clearly joking, but you shouldn't fish for compliments. Its unattractive.

Comments

Delatorre30 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 19:36

Haha epic fail

Shyman4ever 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 15:51

YDI foe not having a sense of humor

timeoffire45 8

Sunday 27 December 2009 0:13

that's hilarious, and you did kinda walk into it... :D

xoxmarquitaxox 0

Monday 28 December 2009 21:35

lmao that made me laugh

jakeidk 0

Wednesday 30 December 2009 1:28

you set yourself up and he was obviously not serious YDI

lalagirl912 0

Tuesday 27 April 2010 6:52

wooaahhh so u want to be HANDSOM he could have been saying ur pretty, and dumb... :)

hippo23 0

Sunday 6 June 2010 2:24

8: win!!!

dkm94 0

Monday 12 July 2010 5:18

haha guy wins

Igniculus 0

Sunday 1 August 2010 8:40

Comment almost got moderated.

shotgunhr 0

Sunday 1 August 2010 19:49

so op you are stupid dull and ugly?

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The Top

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 049

You deserved it 7 251

Today, I was driving down the road when I got to a red light. I looked over and saw a hot chick in a convertible, so I spoke to my window, thinking she couldn't hear me, "Hey girl, I may have a tiny dick but I make up for it in speed and stamina." She looked over. I forgot about the sunroof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 573

You deserved it 86 985

The Top

Today, I was fined because my son pushed the alarm button in the elevator. Why? There was a spider in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 770

You deserved it 3 477

Today, I went on a date with a girl. We drove separately and met at the restaurant. Over the course of two hours she drank a gallon and a half of beer, then her boyfriend picked her up because she was too drunk to drive home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 766

You deserved it 6 272

Today, my fiancé told me that it would be okay with him if I got plastic surgery to make my boobs larger. It would also be okay with him if I didn't get the surgery, but he would call off our engagement and never talk to me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 746

You deserved it 6 534

Today, I realized I rarely go outside anymore due to hyperacusis, social anxiety, depression, and sensory issues. I'm also afraid to tell my family and friends about my problems, because they don't understand how bad it really is. Looks like I'm doomed to be depressed and alone my whole life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 799

You deserved it 214

Today, I checked my facebook, and my wife of 5 years was listed as single. I then write on her wall that it is ok to announce to be married. She writes back saying that we have to talk and to come to the kitchen. My wife divorced me over facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 260 065

You deserved it 13 148

Today, in the most polite and friendly way I could think of, I told a friend that she's slightly too dramatic about things. She started throwing a fit, deleted my number, and ended our seven-year friendship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 731

You deserved it 308