Animals: Today, I put out a fire. Sadly, it was on my doorstep because... - FML

By anonymous - 02/02/2010 17:32 - France

Today, I put out a fire. Sadly, it was on my doorstep because someone had lit a bag of dog poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 538

You deserved it 4 266

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 10/11/2011 17:07 - Ireland

Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 827

You deserved it 7 669

Spooked

By fucking mafia or what?? - 12/01/2013 22:02 - United States - Marysville

Today, I opened my front door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 002

You deserved it 3 455

By sammyxoxo - 18/12/2011 08:32 - Canada

Today, I stepped into a pile of dog shit on my doorstep, along with a note saying, "Keep your dog out of my yard." I don't own a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 771

You deserved it 2 771

Pick it up

By Cassie - 02/05/2011 00:21

Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 388

You deserved it 50 967

It wasn't me, or him

By ev_lyn_aw - 17/05/2017 04:00

Today, today while walking my dog in a different part of town, a man ran screaming out of his house, and threw a plastic bag at me. It was dog poop. It was the first time I'd ever walked in front of his house with my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 886

You deserved it 281

By Anonymous - 11/06/2019 06:00

Today, I was picking up after my dog with a poo baggie over my hand, like a mitten. Too bad the bottom ripped open and my bare hand poked through it just as I grabbed a big handful of steaming dog turd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 841

You deserved it 299

By BaliTheDog - 24/03/2013 23:01 - France

Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 014

You deserved it 97 555

By Anonymous - 13/02/2011 08:36 - United States

Today, I confirmed that my neighbors burn their garbage in their backyard. How? My dog just threw up a nice smelly consistency of spaghetti, plastic and cigarette butts on my carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 823

You deserved it 3 816

My reward

By KittenShitz - 25/12/2019 14:00

Today, I felt accomplished after I cleaned the whole house alone, but then I stepped backwards to admire my work and stepped into a pile of dog poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 758

You deserved it 331

By Anonymous - 08/12/2011 04:27 - Canada

Today, my dog took a dump beside the air intake for our furnace. The house now smells like dog crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 969

You deserved it 4 065

Next

Top comments

alexandraa_fml 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 23:34

Did you know flaming bags of poop cause bacterial fungi infections causing hemmorages to the carrotid artery and lead to blue palpatations of the endocrine sweat glands when stepped on? Leading cause of death in the US. If only more people were aware of the danger.

pooter_stink 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 23:26

Billy Madison anyone???

Comments

NoNameAtAll_fml 1

Wednesday 3 February 2010 1:09

u r 1 annoying ginger snickerdoodle. u r the reason for global warming

blakebellamy82 3

Wednesday 3 February 2010 1:11

I did that to someone today lmfao.

Xephyr 1

Wednesday 3 February 2010 1:19

Haha that's classic

canadianpatsfan 0

Wednesday 3 February 2010 1:26

lol o sorry was that your house?

Pearljammer001 0

Wednesday 3 February 2010 1:39

why yes that was my house you bastard! lol

exquisite 0

Wednesday 3 February 2010 2:00

Did you fire anyone lately? lol You probably deserved it!

aintgotmuchofu 0

Wednesday 3 February 2010 2:05

Wow that is the oldest trick in the book.

jj79242 0

Wednesday 3 February 2010 2:12

should have just peed on it

barnes88 0

Wednesday 3 February 2010 2:16

wow you just fell for one of the oldest pranks in the book cuz. have you never watched Billy Madison?

CronosDage 0

Wednesday 3 February 2010 2:19

Fernando, yes you can! 

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Keywords

Embarrassing Transportation Cars Poopoo peepee Work Awkward Fire Kids Money Food Capitalism Clothes Miscellaneous AITA Thief Health Intimacy Birthday Death Love Sex Disability Abuse Fish Camping Vegan Holidays Ableism Video games Geek

The Top

Today, my seventy-year-old male live-in landlord asked if I'd heard a low humming noise the last few nights, around midnight, as someone had mentioned it. I feigned ignorance, whilst silently lamenting the decline of my self-pleasure opportunities. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 404

You deserved it 272

Today, I was ecstatic that the pregnancy test I took was negative. I went to high-five my boyfriend as I told him the good news. Apparently, it’s monstrous, unladylike and weird for a woman to not want children. When I pointed out he doesn’t want kids either, he said, "That’s normal for guys." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 821

You deserved it 248

The Top

Today, while babysitting, the little boy explained to me why I was single, reasons such as 'unattractive' and 'not the girlfriend type'. I cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 442

You deserved it 4 432

Today, I found out where the mysterious bites on my back keep coming from. It's not every day you find an earwig in your loofah. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 574

You deserved it 4 311

Today, I didn't get the promotion I interviewed for at work. A guy who's worked here for only two months did. My supervisor's reason: she doesn't think I'm going to amount to anything. I work at Home Depot to pay my way for college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 074

You deserved it 2 611

Today, my wife said that her cup of coffee was the best part of her week. We celebrated our nineteenth anniversary this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 130

Today, I was at a soccer game when some guys walking behind me yelled that I had a nice ass. I then heard someone shout, "Hey, assholes. That's my daughter." He yelled at them for quite a while. He wasn't my dad, just some weird dude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 918

You deserved it 507

Today, and for the past month, I've been feeling lightheaded from a breathing problem. I've now been prescribed a medication to help with my anxiety and my breathing issue, which would in turn help stop me from getting so lightheaded. The side effect of said medication: lightheadedness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 863

You deserved it 290